In the last two weeks I've made plans with a bunch of friends. Four times I've been cancelled on because they are "not feeling well." This is a vague excuse that anyone can use at any time and I'm just supposed to say "Aw. Feel better!" But I'm pretty sick of it. One person has had a chronic illness and it's legit so I, theoretically, am not allowed to be annoyed by those cancellations. Another friend was going to spend five seconds fixing a necklace for me which was supposed to be a Christmas gift, then she turned it into a "girls night" then she wasn't feeling up to it so I could come another day... except Christmas was only a couple of days away... and I was just wanting five damn minutes.
I actually get this a lot. They want to hang out, we make plans, then the last minute, "I don't feel well."
Yeah, it's cold and flu season. Yeah, I'm the fat person so according to all the skinny people using health as an excuse to JUDGE ME, I should be the one getting sick all the time, yet I'm the one getting ditched constantly.
Maybe I'm no fun to be around.
That's fine with me. It's actually sort of in the design. I don't like people and I don't need friends so if I'm no fun to be around, stop trying to make plans with me in the first place!
I find things to do.
I'm not a sad and lonely case. I'm actually quite happy on my own. See "introvert" as opposed to "shy". Reference Hermit in the dictionary.
But fuck all. I am so sick of "I'm not feeling well," as a reason to ditch your friends ALL THE TIME. Suck it up once in a while or just stop making plans. How much of it is real and how much is psychological?
Today I just have had it for the last time because the thing is, now these people are going to come back later and say "Hey, let's do something!"
But I don't really want to make plans with you. I want to make plans that rely on the only person I can count on. Myself.
1 comment:
Post a Comment