Some Days...

It's still a struggle. When she was younger, things were constant, but we held to our guns, backed each other up, and it was worth the anxiety and stress - even if it didn't seem like it at the time.

But it's still a struggle.

Earlier today we watched an episode of Little House and then I said "Maybe if there's time after you read and we get stuff done we can watch another episode." I tell her to go get her book. She leaves the room and returns 20 minutes later without a book. That's okay, we've got hours until bed. So, a little while later I tell her to get her book and read while I make dinner. She hovers around my cooking, I remind her to get the book again. She goofs off, sits at the table and looks at a birthday invitation, and starts dancing around the kitchen. I play for a minute, then say "get your book."

Dinner's ready and she has only barely picked up her book. I tell her to read after eating. She eats and says she wants to brush her teeth. After brushing her teeth, I ask her to put her laundry away. She takes it upstairs and disappears for about 45 minutes. I call her, tell her to read. She finally reads her 20 minutes, but now it's 7:30. After reading she says she's going to play school downstairs. I say okay.

7:49. I say "It's close to 8. Can you please get into your pajamas?"
"But you said we might be able to watch another episode of Little House if I read."
"I said maybe because it depended on time. There's no time left."
"But I did my reading."
"I know. Thanks. Now it's time to get ready for bed."
"But I did my reading a while ago."
"And then you wanted to play school."
"Well, I did want to watch it."
"I understand, but there's no time now. If you had done the reading earlier, we would have had time to watch it."
"I did my reading."
"But not until it was too late."
"I didn't know it was too late."

These things usually do not end until I yell at her. It has taken everything in my soul to not yell at her at these situations.

So what the hell am I doing wrong? Because we have these incidences at least 3 times a week and they seriously NEVER end. I've tried just explaining and then stopping and refusing to engage her in the argument. I've tried yelling (which ends it, but I don't like doing it). I've tried being super calm and explaining, but it goes on forever. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong that makes these things continue. I know she is subconsciously trying to "get to me", but knowing that doesn't help me make it stop.

Grrr. Some days...

It happens to even the most non-chalant of us.

Yesterday we let Toria ride her bike to school for the first time. As per usual, the evening before we went overboard in safety and expectation instruction, but yesterday I saw her off...then walked around the corner and watched until she was out of sight...
Then waited on the doorstep beginning almost 5 minutes before school even lets out for her to come home.

Reminds me of the first day of pre-school.
...And the frst day she asked to walk into pre-school by herself.
...And the first day of kindergarten.

{sniffle}

Ha ha on him. Scott took Toria to that movie, but it was sold out. Well, they bought tickets for a later show only to return later and find that it wasn't sold out. They had been having trouble with the film so they gave him two tickets to see Fly Me To The Moon in 3D...much more to Toria's taste. She enjoyed it, but he's disappointed. Amuses me, though...

Scott is taking Toria to a movie as a daddy daughter date today. They are going to see Clone Wars. Can anyone say this is more for Daddy than daughter? He is totally brainwashing her.

Meanwhile, I have a few minutes to myself for the day to fold laundry without feeling like I'm taking it from family time. That pleases me greatly.

Confession of a Mom

I was out the other day meeting with my Avon upline the day Toria went back to school. She said something along the lines of "Isn't it great to have the kids back in school?" No. She'd been gone 3 hours at the point and I missed her. I missed the sound of her feet pounding all over the house or the door opening and closing to come and go to her friends. I missed her "Hi mom" whenever she passed through a room. No. It's not that great. I'm sending her to a substandard title 1 school and missing her.

Since then, other people - parents and non parents alike - have been making similar comments. I didn't think I was one of "those" moms. I was never meant to be, yet somehow it happened anyway and while I enjoy the peace, quiet, and muses who visit while she's in school, I miss her when she's gone.

Don't tell anyone. It will severely compromise my image. {grin}