New recommendations

I saw a commercial for Reelz Recommends and thought 'hey, I can do that'.

We read a lot and watch a lot of movies.  The thing is, while he is a little cliche and likes action and comic book movies (I like them, too, just not as much), I don't often go for the romantic comedy chick flicks.  What we watch commonly are independent, foreign, and other non-blockbuster hopefuls.

Generally, when talking to a friend, I get to know things they like and then make recommendations based on that.  Most of the time I think I do pretty well because they don't often come back and say they hated it.  It has happened, but pretty rare.

Not that anyone is even reading this blog, but I am not going to play it safe.  I don't know you, your threshhold for sex and violence, or your personal tastes, but for the sake of saying "I think these things are really, really cool!"  I'm going to recommend just one book and one movie a month.  Once in a while I'll throw in a show that's easily obtained on Netflix, etc.  Also note, when I refer to something, it's probably going to be the things I think are awesome, not necessarily the thing others would use as reference.  You'll get the hang of it.

Kick off.

Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk.  Sometimes people like a link to something familiar, so I will mention he is the author of Fight Club.  I've read a few of his books, but this one holds as my favorite; perhaps because I read it first.  Seriously, give it a shot if you like a dark, twisted satire.

Velvet Goldmine directed by Todd Haynes.  It gets better every time I see it.  Christian Bale (after Swing Kids, but before Batman), Jonathan Rhys Meyers (The Tudors), Ewan McGregor (Life Less Ordinary, Shallow Grave, Trainspotting) Toni Collette (If you haven't seen her yet, you are crazy.  She's done a million awesome things.  This is after Clockwatchers and Muriel's Wedding, but before Dead Girl and United States of Tara)

Smartphone Arrogance.

I'm coining a new term today.  Smartphone Arrogance.  It seems pretty straightforward.  Do I mean the way people show off their smartphones?  Am I talking about the way they have to have the latest and greatest?  What about the way they make a habit of selling last year's model for outrageous amounts because they need the money to buy the newest phone?  Sure, that's the first thing that bothered me.

What followed is the things I knew would annoy me later.  Send out an email and assume everyone will get it in real time because their smart phone will notify them.  Know who has texting and who doesn't.  You might actually be required to call someone and leave a message, but if they don't have a smartphone, at least send a text.  I do not have my laptop tied to my hip.  Of course there are other things; people assuming you have a data plan and can just look things up on the smartphone at the drop of a hat, but on Tuesday, I was caught in a hole because I did happen to see an email that said Jane's game practice was definitely on, but this was sent only minutes before we left the house.  I had a feeling I better check because it had been raining hard off and on all day.  Well, we got to the field, no one was there.  Not a single sole.  It was still raining.  I also could not look up on my phone whether or not it was supposed to clear up.  We left, assuming the lady must have emailed out a cancellation because she sends out these last minute emails frequently.  We get home and it has finally cleared up.  Go back?  We decide not to, but I check email and no cancellation.  Still thinking about going back, but if they were going to be there - 25 girls and 3 coaches, shouldn't SOMEONE have been there?  We usually park at this parking lot where only about half the people park.  This time we parked at the end where the coach normally parks so that we could see him arrive and know for sure.  Not a sign of him anywhere.

After practice, Jane's friend who can be pretty smug sometimes calls and says the coach won't let her play in Saturday's game now because she missed a practice.  WTH?  They can show up late and then blame us for not having smartphones to find out what's up?  Because we never got their phone numbers, only emails as contact info, but they have all of our phone numbers!

I get really really annoyed by smartphone owners a lot.  I feel it's a bit like people who drive huge suburbans.  They lose sight of the fact that there are others on the road and become bullies.  I'm sure if I ever get a smartphone, I'll be prone to the same things, but I am pretty sure I will remember the reality.  If you need someone to know something immediately, call them.  Use phone numbers.  Remember that texting is for things you want people to know soonish, but not necessarily NOW and email is for things that you need people to know eventually.

Plus, don't assume your smartphone is a great way to email because half the time, the email comes into my gmail garbled with ? and most smartphone people are too lazy to use punctuation and frankly, I don't even want to interpret your garbage anymore.

And if you have a smartphone and data plan, don't complain to me about money.  I'm not saying we're broke, but we do have to choose between smartphone and satellite TV.  I mean, we are in a world where people who have hundreds of dollars worth of electronic equipment can't figure out how to pay their power bills and people who think satellite TV and data plans are utilities like power and water.  We've lost all perspective on what's necessary and what is a luxury so we work hard and still never seem to have money.

Well, since I get to spend my birthday babysitting someone else's kid - oh joy - my brain is turning to mush so I could ramble some more.

High school reunions.  So, I was on the lost list at the 5th.  I was rather fine with that since a) I never fit in and b) it makes a hilarious story.  After high school, I lived at home and went to college.  After finishing my Junior College work, I moved to a college in the same state and went for the upper division level work.  I still had all my mail delivered home since I came home every weekend.  Ran out of money, moved back home and transferred credits to the University of Utah - the college I bet a majority of my classmates attended.  Got engaged, marrried, moved about 2 miles from the home I lived in when I attended HS.  My parents still lived there and they weren't even forwarding all of my mail yet.  They didn't bother to send an invite to my parents.  I found out I was on the lost list from a friend who had moved to Missouri.

Anyway, at the 10 year, I made myself found, helped with the webpage, and attended the reunion.  I don't know why.  It just seemed like if you don't go, you're saying you're afraid of these kids who used to tease you, I guess.  Instead I learned that if you're an outsider in HS, you're still one at the reunion.  Seemed like a bunch of shallow, bored wives with snooty attitudes and guys who were bored with their lives and their jobs.   The rest of the people were trying so hard to prove that they were better off and awesome, that they seemed boring and pathetic to me.

I had a 3 year old adopted daughter, a hubby who made me happy and who, at the time, enjoyed his job, and things were good.  No complaints.  So, nothing to talk about.  I got bored and went home after letting my kid play at the park for a bit.

Hubby went to his 20 year and he had a good time, but I have to be honest.  Unless one of my friends wanted to go, I can't see the point.  Everyone will be trying to prove they've made something of themselves.  Maybe I'm insecure because I haven't.  If only I had a published novel then, well, I still wouldn't care what they think so...what.... I would go use it for marketing?  Yeah, that sounds like good times.

I still have a couple friends from HS.  There are a few I wouldn't mind seeing, but half of them were a year ahead so wouldn't be at my reunion anyway and the other half didn't go to the 10 so who cares?  I know they say if they were really friends, you'd have kept in touch, but things don't really work that way for everyone.

HS reunions.  Why do we go?  Do we care?

Non-conformist is the new conformist

I remember when I was in High School (omg, my 20th reunion is this August.  UGH!) and they were known as "mod" shortly followed by "goth".  I am sure I was put into this group because I wore black and walked around depressed, but the fact is, even the goths had their own clique going on and I wasn't really accepted by them as a group either.  In HS, I ran around with one or two people from each clique so it's not like I didn't have friends at all, but I was never accepted by any of the groups, even the subversive ones, so I had a different kind of outcast feeling than what I see in movies and television.  Yet, these subversive groups were very small.  You could look at the general student population and see the rockers, the preps, the archetypes explored in Breakfast Club, but the dark, depressed characters were a very small percentage of the student population.

Now I watch the kids walking home from school thinking they are the subversive non-conformists in their emo gear that looks like it was picked up at Emo R Us (remember being in HS and being goth?  You had to shop a dozen stores and pick through the clearance racks to find the stuff no one else wanted.  Our black was simple black jeans and black tee because we didn't have options.)  Their clothes are just as designer as the preppy kids, but now the preppy kids are the small percentage of the student population.  Almost all the kids look like they stepped out of Hot Topic.  They have fully conformed to the idea of what makes them non-conformist.  They are the definition of conformity, but more amusing than that, they don't know it.

I can't follow rules.  I tried.  I spent a lot of time beating myself up and feeling like a failure because the rules did not work for me.

I'm not talking about rebelling for the sake of being defiant or breaking laws and rules that are inconsiderate to others.  I think it's really important to remember that others exist and deserve to be treated with respect.

But I sat in church feeling like there was something inherently wrong with me because I didn't think the things they taught made sense and I felt like I was evil because of the things I thought that made me happy.  I had trouble committing to jobs (understatement.  I tried very hard to fit in at various jobs - started out excited, got depressed, quit, felt stupid for quitting, and was never really in my right mind)

I tried losing weight at a Weight Watchers type group (done through the hospital, not affiliated, but same concept) and using online groups, but I failed harder than when I went on my own.  I join writers groups and try so hard to find success by associating with others, but even that doesn't seem to work.

I don't know my point here, to be honest.  I just think it's really funny to see the stream of kids coming from school thinking they are different, but they are all the same.  I bet the generation above me thought the same thing.  Plus, I guess I thought talking about how I felt like a failure when I did what I was "supposed" to do would be therapeutic, but I find myself in the exact same place... wishing I had the strength to do more with my life, but also loving the artistic lifestyle I'm living.