Just a quirky observation.

If your husband has a 'work wife' and you are not threatened by her, I think it's best not to meet her if possible.

I rather assumed because I'm not the overly jealous/possessive type and I'm pretty open and understanding to him needing someone at work to confide in, I wouldn't mind it a bit. Instead - after meeting her - I find myself in a conundrum. I wonder why he chose to confide in her specifically. Interestingly, when we first got married I had this friend with habits that bothered both of us, but he had much less tolerance. Eventually friendship ended partly because of those habits - at times they could be offensive. Oddly, 'work wife' has extremely similar habits. So why does it not bother him when he was so adamant not to spend time with my old friend? He doesn't seem to see it and -of course - I cannot say anything because no matter what, it would come off as jealousy.

It also bothers me that I've spent years telling him to be honest with me and I, in turn, have been honest with him - yet he tells me that he complains about me to 'work wife'. How am I supposed to fix anything if he won't talk to me?

So I advise, if possible, that if your spouse has a 'work spouse' and you have no reason to think anything hinky is going on, just let them have 'work spouse', but make them leave 'work spouse' at work.