Defining Independent Artist

It seems that with an internet full of information, it is also full of opinions on the final word of what makes an artist.

It's easy to say painters and sculptors are artists because this is, of course, referred to as "art".  These days, computers play a large roll in art so graphic artists are accepted as artists.

After that, we call musicians artists whether they are creating the work themselves or simply putting a voice to a song written by someone else.  Interesting how that one works.

To me, if you strive for creativity, you are an artist. Frankly, I've met business managers who conduct business in a creative, artistic way, but when I start recognizing that, I realize everyone on this green and blue earth is an artist so I'll pull back my definition a little.

Perhaps artist is a lifestyle and personality rather than an endeavor.  Maybe it's about the personalities, the love of art, the desire to wear peasant blouses and drink wine.  But wait. I don't wear peasant blouses, drink wine, and type with one hand on an Apple so it must not be that narrow either.

As a writer, I consider myself an artist, but that has actually been discounted as art by more than one source.  Trustworthy sources or not, it hurts a little.  You might struggle to see the "art" in a non-fiction book about how to be a better manager, but I would think it is pretty easy to make the connection to a piece of fiction. Even if you don't, I can't help the fact that I have the desire to create.  Writing is my main lover, of course, but I dabble in other things as often as possible.  Or, at least, as often as the inspiration strikes.

For instance, did you know I play 5 instruments?  Yeah, I don't play for audiences, but I played piano quite well, played trombone in Elementary and Jr. High school bands, played violin in Elementary Orchestra, and in college I took guitar so that I could learn how to play.  From there I taught myself more guitar and eventually tenor saxophone.  Why?  Because it was creative and inspiring.

Did you also know I've created visual art?  Yeah, they are terrible, but they got out the bugs.  I have worked a little to learn to draw - not very well, but I know the concepts - and I've made things with my hands.

And don't tell me crafting isn't an art if you're not following a pattern. It certainly must be!  It feeds my creative soul when I am not writing.

Whatever your passion, as long as you feed it and strive to express yourself creatively, I consider you an artist.  Congrats.  You're one of us!

And I, for one, love you! (even when I don't agree with you...)

Venting

Well, I'll probably eventually get caught for this and it's possible I'll hurt someone's feelings, but I just have to vent some frustrations in my day.

A Little Background Information
I've been designing webpages for independent artists.  Trying a little to make a business of it, but I realize it's slow going for multiple reasons.  I charge very little both because I realize some of the best indie artists have no money and because I am driven by passion for independence more than money.  I have a huge place in my heart for independent artists (visual, musical, writers, etc)...

But They Can Be Difficult To Work With
Despite the fact that I currently consider myself an independent artist, I sometimes cross paths with one that has me banging my head against the desk daily.

I used to spend hours upon hours writing code from scratch, then using CSS templates, but still spending hours to tweak the code until the the columns, boxes, padding, font size, and backgrounds were more to my liking.

I feel that because I don't charge very much, I'm completely justified in copping out to Wordpress these days.  (Besides, I am still a writer and taking time out of my own writing to work on these web pages and I'm not really getting paid enough to quit my day job so to speak.)  Wordpress, of course, limits one on exact design layout and a few other niggly little things I used to stick in my web pages (iFrames, for starters).  There is good reason for those changes, but it limits my creativity nonetheless.

I like doing web pages because I feel creative.  I think I do a decent job writing the blurbs and the sales pitches (90% of those writing moments are left to me).  I enjoy visual art, but I'm not a painter or sculptor so I enjoy working with colors, layouts, images, and other physical attributes.

Sometimes, the artist I'm working with wants to have a say in all of those things as well...

I'm Hitting my 'Patience' Wall
A couple of years ago, I worked with this lovely lady who is crusading to help bipolar and depressed women.  At least, that was her platform. Then it was bullying, it appears, and now it's every level of depression and suicide.

Well, because they (her and her speaking partner) are picking up steam with their speaking engagements, have made come international contacts, and feel they would like a new direction, I've been asked to revamp the webpage from top to bottom.

So I'm completely rebuilding the page for this client because we are moving hosting companies and of course there is the transfer from CSS to Wordpress. At our first meeting, she handed me a screen cap of her old web page with scratches made through most of it, circling a page here and there, and adding her own text in between.

Problem one, she wants me to keep this and add that, but now we have a wordy, convoluted mess.  I work it, edit, reword, move around, and choose careful wording to remain concise, but she comes back and says she wants this word and that word added back into it.  My words cover what she's saying, but she needs those words in it.  So now we have run on sentences listing synonyms as though each word is a new idea.

Then she talks to other people, none of them professionals (neither am I, of course, but I've built well over a dozen pages from scratch back in the old days of HTML, each time using a new technique to create something interesting and giving each page its own personality).  The feedback she's getting is from the guy who writes children's books and the other guy who built a writing club web page which is dry, unfocused, and generally boring using Word Press and no other web pages to my knowledge.

After those consultations, she'll throw more emails at me.  D said this.  M said that.  Well, their information contradicts so what do you want?  Or sometimes it doesn't contradict, it's just more information.  I'm glad you took a seminar about how to use Google Stats and meta tags.  I feel like adding more and more and more and more is just creating a mess!  I can't worry about stats until we have a solid webpage built that isn't going to change every time someone comes back to find information they noticed last time they were there!

 She also goes around online and when she sees something she likes, she sends it; sometimes forgetting to mention what she likes about it, but more often than not, showing me something like 10 different ways she wants her menu.  Seriously?  Pick ONE.  Or two and I'll give you a couple options so you can pick one.  Because frankly you can only have one menu.

I had a design I thought was perfect.  On the landing page, you have a short menu at the side, an image up front, and a brief statement that says "If you're here because you're depressed, we can help" (only it says it way better).

D says they don't want anyone to have to scroll to find the initial information so I should have a top bar menu.  Okay.  You didn't have to scroll, but you want a top bar menu?  Fine.  I make a top bar menu.  Now she has used Word to create a document saying she wants the page to look like this (more or less):  Top inch, web page name.  Below that, their 3 inch logo.  Under that, a their tagline.  Beneath that, the menu bar, then below that, a video to introduce themselves and then, finally, the statement saying why they're here.

So now the menu is about halfway down the page on my large monitor and the video of them is cut off so you have to scroll down to see it.

Meanwhile with first menu I did, the side menu was high enough that it ended before halfway down the page, then you hover and it drops down a the sub menu and sub sub menus.  Now the drop downs will cover the video.  No harm done, I suppose, but on a smaller screen you are going to be scrolling down.

So what the hell was so wrong with the first one I did??

Last week she called on the phone.  We played a little phone tag because I was pretty busy that day, but when we talked, she said she wanted to change up the menus a bit.  I grumbled internally, but saw that a little rearranging of the dozen pages I already created would do the trick.

Then over the weekend, she sends the file with the suggested page layout (which I don't like, btw, but it's not about me) and below that, 3 pages of suggested menu items.

It means totally deleting about 8 pages I already researched and created.

It also means creating about 8 new pages of information which she described only as "include reviews, cost and email request" or "Step 1. I want to Recover", "3 stages of recovery" and things like that.  I told her she needed to research that information herself, but again with the... Seriously?  You're the "expert" on the subject, but you are just giving me page names and expecting me to create content?  Research for you?

And then I think what happens when I create those 8 pages and then someone else says she should do it differently?  She'll drop 5 pages and ask for 5 new ones, I suppose.

I keep telling her she needs to focus and solidify her decisions.  She thinks she has, but then is easily swayed by someone else's thoughts.  So I think we've got direction, then the rug is pulled out and I have to crochet a new one.

Grrr

All whilst trying to prep 3 novels in hopes I can grapple myself an agent or publisher, editing a 4th so I feel ready to pitch it, and I don't remember the last time I got to write anything new on that 5th novel which I have completely outlined.  Since writing the new stuff is what makes a writer feel alive, it's rather disheartening every time my work is discounted and I'm asked to create all new work.

From writing to feminism - thoughts for today

I was off to a wonderful start in September.  I wrote every day.  Then a big project came up and I got very little written for a few days.  Went back to it, then some stress from every day life made me lose focus.  It's easy to say "write every day!" but it's so hard to do.

Now here are the unpopular words.

I notice that a lot of the time when someone advocates writing every single day no matter what, it tends to be men.  Going off traditional roles and stereotypes (because sometimes I can't help myself!) I notice that it's mainly men who seem to find that kind of time every day.  They also say it's easy to write a book in the evenings after work.

What I'd like to know from the men who say this specifically is who does your laundry?  Who cleans the bathroom at your house?  Who picks up after you and keeps the kids quiet while you're writing?

Yet I know many writers with families.  I can think of one in particular where both people in the couple want to write.  She makes time for him to write and he plays on the computer instead.  He never makes time for her to write.

I've only come across two female writers in my life who have a spouse, kids, and a job.  One of them take months or years to complete a novel.

We look at this like it's a long process, then feel shamed because (and half the time it's men!) will say something like they can whip out a novel in a month.  One of the guys in my writing group says he goes from planning to completion in two weeks and that it shouldn't take too much longer if you plan well.  Excuse me, sir, but you are single, you are retired, and you don't have any kids visiting.

The point I'm getting around to; there is a certain amount of shaming from both other writers and people who don't write at all.  They all want you to whip up a novel and have it perfect, ready for viewing in a month or two and figure if you just toss out a few queries, you'll have that income so stop complaining about money already and just do it.

My experience
It may be different to other experiences.  I actually still have it pretty easy. I am responsible for keeping the house in a reasonable level of lived-in-but-not-cluttered state.  There are the usual laundry, dishes, and cleaning for which I am responsible.  Despite having a great kid who can help clean and is quite responsible, the one place I've fallen short is allowing her and my husband to think I'm the cleanup fairy.  Every day I walk around the house picking up garbage, putting dishes in the sink, wiping up little messes made, and that sort of thing.

The other major responsibility is thinking about everything that no one else wants to think about.  When anything goes south (and because our household income is modest, everything that isn't planned ahead of time such as car repairs, sick pets, and leaky faucets become "south") I'm the one who researches, fixes, comes up with answers, and makes the decision.  I try to involve the spouse, but he responds with "I don't know" and heads off to work.

This is actually a female epidemic.  Do you wonder why most receptionists are women?  Because women see the holes and are willing to fill them up.  Men just say "I don't know" and hand it off.  I've observed this a lot over the years.  It's not just women stuck to cleaning the house.  Even in the supposedly equal working world, they are the ones picking up the pieces because men don't seem interested in that little bit of extra work.  Pass it off rather than follow through.

Disclaimer: I realize this isn't always true of the male/female dynamic.  I'm not a man hating beast who always pigeon holes the roles, but I really have had a lot of situations to observe between receptionist roles at male dominated companies, working in more female dominated companies, and living in a subculture where stay-at-home mom is much more highly encouraged (and working moms are shamed more than typical)

What Inspires Me: Or How to End Up Immortalized in a Novel

People think I'm shy.  I don't think I am.  I think I'm observing.  I pick up as much information as I possibly can because I put it all into a big bowl, shake it up, then dump it out when I write.  I didn't actually intend for my first heroine to remind my sister of this one friend I had in high school.  She just came out that way.  I wasn't looking to recreate my friend's apartment building as the apartment building of the main character's friend in my second book, but it's what I saw in my head and it worked really well for the outdoor scenes I planned.  That pain I felt after my Dad died?  Yeah, that ended up in the pain a character felt for another loss.  It's all there, bleeding on the page; what I think about you, my life, and the world at large.

So, basically, if you do something stupid, funny, or interesting, you may end up immortalized.

Also, I was challenged on Facebook to put 7 sentences from page 7 of my current work.  I don't do those memes on Facebook ever for a variety of reasons, but for kicks, here they are.

“H.P. Lovecraft.”

“Nobody dances sober,” we both began in unison, then grinned widely as we finished together, “unless they happen to be insane!”  We laughed for a moment before he spoke again.  “Have you ever heard of us?”

I shook my head. “I’d like to hear more bands, but since I’m stuck at Titus most weekends my options are limited.”

“Are you a waitress?”

One reason I didn't want to participate is that the person who challenged me had a long description. Those can be lifted from a work and still sound good. Me? My strength is dialogue. Descriptions are a way to make the reader sense physical aspects of my works, but long paragraphs of description don't suit me. Posting a few lines of dialogue seem pointless. I didn't begin with the first sentence on page seven. Instead I skimmed until I found seven sentences that sort of went together.

Another reason is that page seven isn't the beginning and it isn't where the most interesting bits are. A good writer grabs you on page one. A great writer has you unable to put the book down by page ten. Not every word of pages one through ten can be attention grabbers or you'd be sick of the book by page ten. I feel like page seven isn't much of a statement of my work.

Here's one of my favorite conversations near the beginning of this one

“What is it with women and chest hair?”

“You either have too much or not enough,” Peter said.

“Can we talk about something other than chest hair?” Cynthia asked with disdain.

The guys all looked at each other, then sipped at their drinks or picked at some food.  Finally I looked to Peter.  “Well, are we talking about a monkey chest?”

“I only have a little hair,” Peter replied.

Cynthia clicked her tongue.  After a second I leaned toward Peter.  “I think we’re going to have to see it.”

Without coaxing, Peter jerked his shirt up to his neck revealing all including a nipple ring and a dragon tattoo on his pectoral.  All the guys looked, but Cynthia turned away.  “It’s like a soul patch,” I remarked, looking at the triangle of straight black hair.  I stared a moment longer.  “Wow.  You have the most perfect man nipples I’ve ever seen.”

Wolf and Sir Gay laughed. Peter smiled. “Behold my man-nipple!” he said so loudly that the other patrons looked our direction.

That last line is lifted directly from someone I know who used to show off his nipples at every opportunity. It was hilarious every time.

The rest of that was from other conversations I've had about chest hair or my own imagination.  One never knows what will be and what will not be until one writes it down.  And then edits it.  Like a good actor, you could end up on the cutting room floor.

Writing is fun!

3 Things a Writer Would Love to Hear

Well, that's about right.  I extracted the poison, wrote a ton, fixed things, made it brilliant, then hit the next spot and that voice in my head said "You know everything you're adding is banal garbage, right?  Also, what are you going to do with that last 100 pages?  Turn it into a second book?  HA!  Can't be done."

Thanks brain.

So I bring you another list.

Yesterday, I detailed 5 things I wish people would stop asking me.  It made me realize that there are other things I would love to hear when I tell people I write.

3 Things a Writer Would Love To Hear

1. I love to read!  Who are your favorite authors?

If you ask a budding, aspiring, or literally any writer this question and they cannot answer it at all, then I give you my permission to think of them as a jackass for using valuable publisher and agent resources for their own selfish and lame gains.  I have no respect for a writer who doesn't read!

That said, a hem and haw is okay because it's hard to choose just one!  Let's discuss me for a moment.  I love Chuck Palahniuk, Haruki Murakami, Bret Easton Ellis, Patricia Highsmith, Sara Waters, Oscar Wilde... and more and more and more!  Have you read any of them?  Let's discuss!

Meanwhile, it's fantastic that you read Stephanie Meyer.  I kinda don't care because I haven't.  Yeah, she might be successful, but you can't make that matter to me.


2. Who/what inspires you?

I'm inspired by the music I listen to (like my reading, it runs around the world and back again), news articles, and sometimes by a perfect picture.  (Sometime I see "The Lady of Shallot" by Waterhouse in my head when my character is conflicted and forlorn).  As well as the novels I read and other authors - though I'm not much of an author groupie.  I'm on my own journey and their journey matters very little to my own unless it involves advice on how to get there.

There are many ways in which an author can be inspired, but if they are any good at all, they are likely excited to talk about their favorite writers or artists.

I can't speak for other writers, but for myself, I also read differently.  When I read, I read from a writer's perspective.  I've discussed this endlessly with my husband, a prolific reader who has little to no interest in being a writer, and others and have come to realize that I look at a book differently.  So when I grumble at Stephen King, it's not jealousy.  It's disinterest in his story telling style.  When I say I haven't read Harry Potter, it's because it's not my thing, not because I'm judging its success.



3.  I bet you're really good!

Lie to me, please.  I know you know nothing about my writing, but if you can just remind me that I'm smart and interesting, it helps me write more!

5 Things You Should Not Say To Your Friend Who is a Writer

Conclusion: I think it's poison.


So, I get comments a lot and questions a lot.  I've read so much damn information on the internet, it makes the brain contort into a monkey shaped crayon.  I don't expect others to go read all that information, however, so I've compiled a list.  People love lists on the internets these days!

5 things you should not say to your friend (or new acquaintance) who is a writer. 

1. Are you published?

No, but that doesn't make me any less of a writer.  Writing isn't just putting a few words to paper.  It's letting the voices tell you their stories, spending hours conceiving, planning, and executing ideas.  It's telling a detailed story.  Most importantly, it's being able to finish what you've started.  I began writing as a youngun', but I never could finish an idea until high school.  After that, it still became difficult.  It took practice, practice, practice to learn that skill.  That's not true for everyone, but I guarantee everyone who is an author had some skill they had to practice and hone in order to consider themselves legitimate.  Publishing is not the line distinguishing between a "real" writer and a dabbler.  Publishing isn't even the goal for some authors.  I realize that by calling myself a writer instead of an aspiring writer makes it hard to distinguish between one who is published and one who isn't, but how do I distinguish myself between someone who has an idea and has written a few paragraphs one weekend from one who has been working on it as an artistic craft for as long as she can remember?  A painter is a painter because they paint, not because they have sold paintings.  Why is a writer supposed to be labeled differently when they are artists with words?

Actually, this question doesn't bother me quite as much as the follow up which is either an expression indicating that I am not a "real" writer or another question such as "Why not?" which basically indicates if you finish a novel and then call a publisher and say "Hey, I'm done," then that's all there is to it.  So I'll address that next:


2. Why not?

What the layman doesn't understand is that it's not about the value or quality of the work.  Getting published (unless you know someone who knows someone) is about the value and quality of a 1 page query letter "please please please request to read my novel.  You get thousands of queries a day, but mine is special, I swear!" followed by the value and quality of a 2 page synopsis "I told my story in 350 pages, but in 2 pages I'm supposed to give you a summary that makes you realize what's unique about my story!"

In some cases it's about winning a contest.  That's fantastic and all, but have you ever watched American Idol?  You know how there are a dozen people on that show and they're all great?  Then they narrow it down to 3 and really, how are you supposed to choose?  They're all pretty amazing!  There are many people in this world who can't sing at all and you start out with a dozen great ones, then eventually pick the 1 that is the best in many ways including appearance, showmanship, and outfits.  They aren't looking for the next act that changes the way we see music, though.  They want someone who sings well, offends no one, and who will be a pop star.  This is what I refer to as beige.  They are looking for someone beige - they go with everything and have a way of hiding the dirt just a little bit.  JK Rowlings is a pop star for novelists as is Stephanie Meyer.  I aspire to be Radiohead or Smashing Pumpkins - not everyone gets it, but those who do are my kindred spirits!  I am those voice for those who are on the outside and just feel like they never see things the way "everyone else" seems to see things.

Maybe I'm flattering myself, but I'm in that top dozen people, not that top one.  I don't see myself winning any contests, but being in the top dozen is still pretty good.  Do I deserve to be passed over for publication because I'm not that top 1 of all the thousands of writers out there?  I think if we did that, there wouldn't be enough books for the voracious readers and only a few voices would be heard in a world where everyone wants to be unique.


3. I have an idea for a novel!  Maybe I should write it.  (Or maybe you should write it for me!)

Actually, this one is an interesting conundrum to hear.  My first response is "Yes!  You should!"  Initially as a reader, I figure you might have something interesting to say.  Right after that, though, the devil pops in and say "Then you might understand how hard it is to get from beginning to end, edit, share with others and take harsh criticism, and basically see the other things on this list I go through in order to feed the demon that is my dream."

Everyone seems to have an idea.  Whether it be a novel or a memoir, I don't doubt everyone has something interesting to say.  Meanwhile, I've got 5 novels at varying points of completion, 5 more ideas percolating, and dozens of voices who converse in my head without my consent.  Ideas are clearly not my problem.


4. Can I read something?

Don't say this unless you mean it.  Also, if you have editorial skills, please say this!  I love having diverse eyes read my work, but I also don't want to give it to someone who isn't as excited to read it as I am to have it read and receive feedback.

Honestly, I know the reason I'm really getting asked this question.  Because you want to read my work so you can feel superior in the knowledge that I'm not as good as Stephen King.  Well, a) Stephen King has an editor and b) don't think you can do better unless you've done it.  The only friends who are allowed to judge me have thus far been nice enough not to and have actually been supportive of my work (even though I've read theirs and they are super-talented, putting me to shame!)


5. What's it about?

Well, the first problem is when you say 'it', I don't really know what you mean.  The one I'm in the middle of writing?  The one I just finished?  The one I'm editing?  All my works?  I'm not quite sure what people really want to know when they ask this question because they don't seem that interested in the answer.  I've tried a simple "Suspense" or "Romance, but not bodice ripper" and I've tried giving them a brief summary.  I've tried telling a cute anecdote from the pages as well as vaguely saying "It varies"  No matter what answer I give, the recipient most often follows up with other questions that are just as frustrating.  If I say suspense, they say "Like Stephen King?".  Well, he's horror and also sort of a pop star.  Not what I'm aspiring to write.  If I say "Romance", the ask about the sex.  If I say it's not that kind of romance, they seem relieved.  See, I don't write the bodice rippers, but don't harsh on them, man.  They are the best selling novels around and if I was doing it for the money, I'd make mine ALL sex so I could get PAID.

Sometimes I give a little summary, but the thing is, everyone is different and what I write may not be the kind of thing you like to read.  That's okay!  I'm aware of this fact.  If that's the case, I'm not writing it for you.  In fact, you may be my friend, but I'm still not writing it for you.  I'm writing it for me and anyone else who gets it.

I think I'd like to follow this up with things to say to a writer and maybe something about how to end up in one of my novels.  Check back soon!

Writing progession

I started this as a Facebook status update, but then I realized I have much to say on the subject.  I think later I'd like to know where I was from time to time in order to remind myself that progress has been and will be made!

Currently, I am rewriting the first novel I have made any *real* attempt to sell. (There have been many attempts, but focus and moxy are things in me which still require growth.)  I had an idea that I'm convinced will make it better.  I hope so!  I felt I had it perfect so it is a bit unnerving to go back to it.

You see, several years ago after finishing my first novel* I began to make some changes.  I thought it would add to the suspense and intrigue, but instead of fertilizing it, I felt as though I had poisoned the tree.  I still plug away at that one a bit at a time and eventually will repair all the damage (I am well beyond half way, so there is hope!) and somewhere inside of me I know that when it is finished, it will be the best it has ever been.  It's just a struggle right now.

I have many ideas and many beginnings throughout the years.  Each requires its own set of experiences and mind-set to explore.  I wonder if going back is the opposite of growth.  I wonder if I'm a good enough writer to have anything worth while.

I may have mentioned this before in my blog.  I tried not to be a writer for a while.  After a few years I realized I had become an extremely prolific fan-fic writer.  I love those fandom days and would not trade them for the world, though I see my current work as growth from there so I do not wish to revisit those days.  Then I wonder if revisiting these other novels is also a step back.

Meanwhile, I have a third one which started out as a bit of fun, but the voices are so interesting and spunky to me that I think I need to clean it up and share it.  I know I enjoy reading it and so did my spouse.

Then there is the fourth one which I have rewritten three different ways and keep changing.  It brings in my interest in history, but right after I started it, my friend asked me to help proof read her novel and now I feel like mine's a joke.  I mean, she is really talented, rather brilliant, and probable more entitled to get somewhere with her writing than I.

Then there are the other beginnings that don't have completed ideas.  Some days I think I'm stalling on selling because I would love to just write and write, then sell it all at the end.  Other times I think maybe if I could sell some and get a little feedback, it would help me usher these other ideas to their proper seats.

I was doing very well at writing every day until last Thursday.  Now it seems there have been obstacles every day.  I have a lot to get done today, yet I write a blog in my spare minutes rather than my book.  What is up with that?  I need a breath mint for my brain!

* Wait.  Wouldn't that be my second?  I finished the one I started in middle school, but have thrown that all out. OH!  And then there was the second one, but I didn't finish that.  And the third, but I have that idea at the back of my head to start over from scratch.  I guess it would have been the first one that made me think about selling my works instead of just writing them for myself and my friends.