Kids and technology

Why Steve Jobs Didn't Let His Kids Use iPads

Go read that.

It's a common theme these days and this article, amongst others, are blowing up around the internet and in the real world.

I've got parents saying they think they've got it right because their kids have basic cell phones, shared computer, and limits on their game system.  I've got another parent who takes my kid's cell phone away when she goes to play at her friend's house and, by the way, has never given me her phone number, doesn't have a land line and therefore isn't listed in the phone directory.  I've got someone else near me who says she doesn't mind having no cell phone or cable tv because it makes her kids be more creative, but when someone bought her a tablet, she immediately started a share plan so her kids could use it and be out of her hair.

THEY ARE ALL WRONG!

I want those parents who think they are superior for keeping "technology" from their kids to ask themselves whether or not their kids are ever going to drive a car or if you'll expect them to ride a horse and then ask themselves if they are really as superior as they think.

Look, if someone doesn't want a smart phone, that's their choice.  I feel like in modern society, it's okay to accept use of a cell phone.  After all, the pay phones all over town have been taken out and many places have policies specifically against using their business phone.  (Don't believe me?  Start asking at every business you go into.  Several of them have a specific company policy regarding this.)  Cell phones are expensive, but the alternatives we had in the past are gone.  Previous to phones, the worst thing that happened was a run away horse so our family had less worry about us dying if we disappeared for two hours.

The fact is, kids need to learn to balance technology with life.  Why do we use that word anyway?  The assembly line designed by the 'great and powerful' Ford is a type of technology.  It's our little portable devices we're discussing here and just like the assembly line, they will change everything we do from now until the apocalypse so best we get on board with understanding that it is more than an outlet to play Candy Crush.

It's sort of like teaching manners to a three year old.  Lots of people choose not to do it because "a kid is a kid!" but in reality, you are doing them a disservice.  How do you think they will learn manners if you don't teach it to them?  Teach them the importance of these devices, but also teach them when to put it away.  They will be much better adults if they don't think it's an all or nothing deal.  You're trying to control their every movement and frankly, kids who are overly controlled don't learn how to manage anything and are crippled adults.  These new adults aren't computer addicts because their parents let them be on the computer all the time.  They are addicts because no one taught them to set goals, limits, leave the games until the work is done.

Parents of the most recent generation were very busy and just wanted their kids out of their hair.

Look at my kid, okay?  At thirteen, I don't push the limits of her electronic use very much.  Why?  Because when she was younger, I made her earn her computer time. I waited to get her a cell phone until she was old enough to be running off with friends on her own (not play dates or babysitting where I'm there or there is a babysitter who can make emergency calls) and we waited to get her a cell phone until she had proved herself to be trusted and responsible.

Don't get me wrong.  When we sit down to dinner as a family, I sometimes have to remind her to put her phone away, but she does it immediately and we usually sit around talking after the meal.  She gets on the computer and we lose her for a few hours, but that happens about once a month.  Other than that, she plays lacrosse, goes outside to practice, plays her guitar, and hangs out with friends.

Yeah, she listens to music a lot on her iPod.  I listened to it a ton in my room on a tape deck.  I watched too much TV because I didn't have friends... not the other way around.  She has lots of friends so she has little interest in playing video games all night.  She actually has access to the Wii by herself, but she never plays it.  We have a PS3, too and she plays it for about 40 minutes when we are out for a walk, then turns it off for family time when we get home.

She has no siblings, you see, so it's a little harder to say "Hey, go entertain yourself."  Kids with siblings aren't entertaining themselves.  They are entertaining each other.  IMO, this will make them extra dependent on another for their happiness when they are older.  It's why some people jump into bad marriages.

We have used the iPhone to download study aides and reminders for a kid who has trouble remembering stuff and who does lots of research for school classes.  She's independent in her work, but we're always here to help.  Instead of doing things for her, we give her the tools to do it herself.

It's cool if you want to keep your kids from these devices.  Just stop thinking you've done something "right".  No, not "right", just "different".