So, don't judge me too harshly.
Last week I actually sat through an entire episode of Oprah. She had someone on to discuss how to talk to you kids about sex. Well, it's obviously early, but I like to be prepared nonetheless.
Something, however, has been bothering the hell out of me ever since.
During the show, they had a 14 year old couple on to use as an example. The doctor/guest talked about questions you should ask your child if they are thinking about having sex. Well, one remark was that you should discuss what you expect after the first time. Typically, I suppose, boys will just want to do it again whenever they can. Girls will still want to date and just have sex occasionally. Of course, this is a gross generalization, but it shows how they can think different things. Well, the boy in this scenario said that he would leave it up to her "obviously" because she calls the shots.
Then later, the doctor/guest asked if they had discussed what they would do if the birth control failed and she got pregnant. Again, he said it was up to her. The audience and Oprah seemed to eat that up - as though he was such a sensitive, mature, sweet young man to try not to take control of HER body.
Uh, excuse me, but that's one thing that has always bothered me. In the end, yes, it IS the woman's body, but the thing she happens to be carrying was made by BOTH parties. If she let him in, she is obligated to at least hear his opinion on the matter.
But that's not what really gets my goat. We're talking about two 14 year old kids here. He's not being sensitive and mature. NO! What he is saying is it's her problem. Perhaps not as blatantly as the football player says to his cheerleader girlfriend in the After School Special of the week, but if he is saying it's up to her, he is dismissing himself from the stress, angst, terror, and pain of having to MAKE such a decision.
That pisses me off! So I went to the Oprah forum in hopes of finding a voice of reason. None. No one seems to have noticed it!
I'm blogging it for myself because I don't like getting into the catty little forums where you have to register to post, etc.
We're just so jaded as a society that we can't see the forest for the trees anymore. GAH!
2 comments:
I agree with you. The boy should have a say. It is his child as well. I don't think that CHILDREN should be having sex at 14!!! I do agree that they should learn sex ed.
Well, I definitely don't think kids should be having sex either. I mean, that's a whole other issue for me, but I think they missed an opportunity to jump in there and point out WHY they are not ready. He is obviously not ready for any type of accountability.
for the record, after the talk the boy said he was still ready to do it, but the girl said she was now thinking maybe not. YAY!
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